to sleep, perchance to not feel like a zombie all the time

One night a couple of months ago, I had my Last Good Night's Sleep for the duration of my pregnancy. I can't pinpoint the exact night this sleep occurred, but I wish I could, because I would find some way to bottle it and hold it close to me and cherish it forever. I would maybe even whisper sweet nothings to it. Now, I'm lucky if I can sleep for two hours straight without waking up to pee or switch positions. And if I switch positions too fast, I'm totally screwed: I get a terrible leg cramp (like the one I had last week, wherein my calf muscle spasmed four times before the pain finally alleviated) or I pull a muscle in my...spleen? liver? stomach? Do these organs even have muscles, or are they muscles themselves? Are they even organs? Oh, it doesn't matter: It happened last night, and it didn't feel good.

See, I'm already rambling and I'm only one paragraph into this post. That should tell you how sleep-deprived I am.

And then, of course, there's the fact that Sweet Baby Ray is awake and ready to party after midnight every night. And then there's the fact that my toddler is sleeping like complete and utter crap, and even when I do manage to get comfortable and fall asleep for a decent stretch, he's waking me up within minutes with his screams. He's slept through the night exactly one time in the last two months, and I'm at a loss as to the cause. Humidifier or no humidifier, heater or no heater, Sleepsack or no Sleepsack -- it doesn't seem to matter. The boy wakes up regardless. I thought, oh, maybe it's molars, but I swear to you that he's cut at least 45 of them and I don't think he's going to get anymore in the near future. I think maybe right now it's a developmental spurt (he's learning new skills so quickly it's making my head spin; this weekend he learned how to say "puppy," "purple," and "poopy-butt" -- guess who taught him that last one, and GUESS HOW HAPPY I WAS ABOUT IT?), but I just don't know.

And then he wakes up in the morning screaming, too, and let me tell you: That is not a pleasant way to be woken up. Usually he's fine as soon as I go retrieve him, but this morning, because he hadn't tortured me enough through the night, he screamed all the way down the stairs, through his morning diaper change, and during the transfer to his high chair, at which point I threw sweetly gave some Apple Jacks to him and escaped to a hot, steamy shower.

Anyway, what I'm trying to say is: My sons have robbed me of all sleep until further notice. It's a cruel fact of life that I have to limit my caffeine intake right now.

So because it's Monday and I'm tired and grumpy and in one of those "What is this world coming to?" moods this morning, I present to you an installment of Things in the News that are Pissing Cassie Off:

• Interracial couple in Louisiana denied marriage license. Seriously? Things like this are still happening in this country in the year 2009? Unbelievable.
  
• Firefighter suspended for refusing to remove American flag decal from his locker. Okay. So I understand the importance of being PC, but I also think there's such a thing as taking it too far. And this is one of those cases, in my opinion.
  
• 'Balloon boy' drama was staged. Wow. Just...wow. I feel so sorry for this little boy; his parents are clearly crazy, and that father of his deserves to be smacked in the face.

And finally, because I just can't start the week with all this grumpiness, here are a few things that are making me happy:

• Being allowed to wear tennis shoes to work -- since I'm pregnant and my feet are swollen (they really aren't, but I will take every opportunity I can to wear comfortable shoes).
  
• Eating a pumpkin bar with cream cheese frosting for breakfast.
  
• Reese's Crispy Crunchy candy bars.
  
• Wearing a cozy sweater for the first time this fall.

Also, one last thing: Late last week Joe and I got some disturbing news about a friend of his in the Middle East. I can't go into a lot of detail about it, but if you could send up some quick prayers, our friend could surely use them.