Lance and Jenifer: Who are they? You're about to find out.
You know a story's going to be good if it starts with "Once upon a time." Also if it involves mer people.
Obligatory horse page! Although I do think Samson is a good name for a big white horse with a long, flowing black mane. If I do say so myself.
Lance has dead eyes. And startlingly large nipples.
I remember modeling her bathing suit after a picture I saw in one of my mom's Newport News magazines. Quite stylish, right?
Let the record show that, although I did not use quotation marks properly, I did use the correct form of "you're." I knew this at eight years old, and some people struggle with it as adults. It's one of my major pet peeves...but I'm getting side-tracked. Back to Lance and Jenifer.
Okay, I know you probably have lots of questions. I have them too. What was it, exactly, that made her turn into a mermaid? Just swimming in the tank? Or perhaps something more...tawdry happened between Lance and Jenifer that the text doesn't reveal? Hmmm.
"It was hard to climb without feet." And that, my friends, is the line that makes me laugh so hard I snort every time I read it.
His question is, "What are you doing in there?"? Not, "Why the hell are you suddenly a mermaid?"? Huh.
"Just don't go wild"? What does that even mean? I was eight years old. In any case, I think "It had been a good morning" is my best closing line yet.
3 comments:
I totally snorted at the king's quick concession and "Just don't go wild" Too funny. I loved this story!
Oh my gosh. I am laughing out loud over here. LOVE THIS ONE. Favorite parts:
1)Jenifer ends up spending her life with someone whose big line is "You're kinda pretty." I gotta say, I think she's settling.
2) Those are quite the mer-fins that enable Lance to hang down from them and lift a girl into his tank.
3) King Gordon is so awesome. "I repeat" and "Just don't go wild." **laughing**
Oh lordy, this one is a gem!
I laughed so hard that Nick gave me his one eyebrow look.
"just don't go wild" hahahaha...
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