weekend by the numbers

Number of books started and finished: 1 (this one, pretty good)

Number of books I've now officially read this year, reaching my goal four entire months early: 60!

Number of times I left the house: 1, to go grocery shopping.

Number of Very Important Items I forgot to buy at the grocery store: 3

Number of times Andrew insisted upon dressing himself: 2 (Saturday, his windbreaker and Lightning McQueen shoes and nothing else; Sunday, this.)

Number of times Will asked to get on my lap and then immediately wanted down: approximately 700

Number of times Will asked to get on my lap to read his favorite ABC book: approximately 200

Number of times Will wouldn’t let me go past the “Q is for quiet puppy” page because he kept whispering, “Puppy! Shh! Night-night!”: at least 50

Number of different versions of the ABCs Andrew sang: 3, and I am going to share them with you, because they are awesome.

     1. “ABCDEFG, HIJKLMNO...Poop!”
    2. “ABCDEFspaghetti, HIJKLMNOspaghetti!”
    3. “ABCDEFG, HIJKstinkystinkybutt!”

Number of colored ice cubes that were added to the bathtub to provide some bath time fun but which did nothing more than melt too fast and turn the water green: 16

Number of times Andrew lost his Lightning McQueen car: 3

Number of times I found his Lighting McQueen car in the refrigerator, just chillin’ in the produce bin: 1

Number of times Andrew opened the refrigerator without permission: about 20

Number of times Andrew laid on his back on the kitchen floor and kicked the freezer door with both feet: about 50

Number of times Andrew was sent to his room for not listening when I told him to stop doing the two previous things: 2

Number of times Joe threw the football on the porch roof just because the boys liked the loud sound it made when it bounced off: at least 50

Number of times I threw the football: 3

Number of times Joe made fun of my girly throw: unknown, because it's ONGOING

Number of gorgeous, sunny evenings spent in the back yard: 3

Number of times Will wanted to spontaneously cuddle with me: 3

Number of times Andrew came up to me out of the blue and said, “Mommy, I need to tell you something. I love you SO MUCH!”: 1

Number of days until I get to do it all again: 3 (because I have Friday off!)

i don't have a lot to write about, but i felt like posting anyway.

It’s been kind of an odd week. It’s been long, first of all. And then there was the earthquake, which was an interesting way to jazz up a Tuesday afternoon at the office. (We didn’t feel anything more than a slight tremor, but it was still strange.)

Tuesday night and Wednesday night we were hit with ridiculous storms, with thunder that literally lasted for hours. They didn’t cause any damage except to our sleeping patterns. I didn’t even hear Andrew when he woke up crying for me on Tuesday night (I was at my best friend’s house pretty late watching Bachelor Pad)(yes, I watch that ridiculous show), but thankfully Joe did, and he brought Andrew to our bed without me realizing it. I dreamed that I was being kicked in the back by a tiny person, and when I woke up, that very thing was happening. Wednesday night was more of the same.

I don’t like being close to people when I’m trying to sleep, so that, added to the fact that Andrew is a restless, loud sleeper who prefers to lay sideways on the bed, meant that neither one of us got much rest. It turned both of us into jerks, frankly. At one point on Thursday, when Andrew and I were bickering about something after dinner and I was yelling and he was screaming, Will looked at both of us and said, “Mommy time out. Doo-doo* time out.”

And then he went off to play the harmonica. This child is random and adorable.

Anyway, all of that to say this: Bring on the weekend. May it include much sleep for my entire household. And maybe some fun stuff, too, since the weather is supposed to be beautiful.

*Did I ever mention that Will calls Andrew “Doo-doo”? Because he does. Cutest thing ever. Andrew is going to hate it in a few years, and Joe and I are going to tease him about it mercilessly, I’m sure, probably forever.

summer lovin', had me a blast, happened so fast, etc.

Alternate post title: In Which I Attempt To Summarize Our Entire Summer In One Post And Also Share Way Too Many Pictures, Or As Andrew Would Say, “Lots And Lots Of Ones.”

This has been the Summer of Broke-Assness for us, since we’re still trying to catch up from all that business that happened during the first half of the year. So we haven't been able to take the boys anywhere that requires actual money. I was a little bummed about that for a while, but when I look back on our summer now, I can say with total sincerity that we had a really, really good one. We did lots of fun little things that cost almost nothing, and I know the boys still had a great time.

One sunny Sunday, Joe was nagged to death about washing decided to wash the cars, and I put the boys in their swimsuits so they could go outside and help him with the task. Will and the sponge quickly became BFFs:

"I shall call you Squishy, and you shall be mine forever and always."

Once the cars were clean, Joe turned the power washer on his sons, who had a delightful time running through the water, as I think is evidenced by Andrew’s expression in this picture:

It was all fun and games until someone decided to play in the grass clippings:

You know how as soon as a dog is wet it'll go roll on the ground? Yeah, that.

One day during the week we were on vacation, we took the boys to our local state park beach. I am not too keen on the filthy water, so I didn't venture in above my calves, but the boys had no such compunction. In fact, even though it was tightly-wrapped and water-proofed, I'm pretty sure this water is responsible for the infection Joe got in his leg. The boys had a blast, though. And I'm learning (slowly but surely) to just sit back and let them get dirty.

After we left the beach, we went to our local ice cream/greasy delicious food place, where Will got to have his first ever ice cream cone. He attacked it with gusto. Andrew, who had his first ice cream cone experience last summer, ate his much more calmly.

"OMG this is the most amazing thing EVER, I wonder if I can fit THE ENTIRE THING IN MY MOUTH AT ONCE."

"Ice cream cones are delicious but not all that exciting. I'm so above all of this."

Later that same night, we ate dinner at a fast food place with a play area. Andrew was a climbing fool, while Will mostly stuck to the areas closer to the ground, but still had a blast. The whole day was exhausting, but also so incredibly fun.

We also got to go to a bonfire/cook-out with Joe's family. There was corn on the cob...

...and strawberry cake...

...and s'mores...

...and cornhole. The boys bent the rules just slightly.

We've been going to the farmers' market every weekend, and this past weekend there was a fire truck there, open for the kids to explore. Andrew had a blast sitting inside it, and I didn't think I'd ever be able to get him to leave.

I don't know why they look so surly in the second picture. Also I don't know what they're looking at.

I know that we'll be back on our financial feet soon. I know that there is Disney World in our future, and trips to beaches that are actually connected to oceans, and frequent visits to the zoo or the aquarium or the science center. But I want to remember how much fun we had this summer, without spending very much money at all.

And we really, really had a lot of fun. 

30 days of fun. or something like that.

I dropped the ball on sharing my 30 days of fun things with you on a weekly basis. I blame vacation: I was too relaxed to worry about uploading photos and writing blog posts. Thus, I completely lost track of all of my fun things and the days on which I did them. I’m pretty sure I missed a few days here and there, too.

But I want to share the ones that I do remember, so, in no particular order, here are some of the random fun things I did:

I got a pedicure! My first one ever! And I think I’m hooked. I chose turquoise polish to match the dress I wore to Joe’s cousin’s wedding. Incidentally, the pedicure was also the first thing I crossed off on my 30 by 30 list (which I really need to get cracking on). (And in case someone asks, the shoes are a $3.00 pair I bought at the grocery store, of all places).

During the week we were on vacation, Joe took me to see the final installment of Harry Potter. I managed to unearth $35.00 worth of movie theatre gift cards in my wallet, so it was free, including snacks and drinks. The movie was amazing. And so was the date with my husband.

We don’t do this very often, but some nights it’s just fun to eat in front of the TV. It’s a nice treat for everyone. On this night, we watched Cars. SHOCKER. 

We’ve had some gorgeous, mild, lovely weather this month -- perfect for driving with the windows down. I usually hate having my hair in my face, but one evening on my way home from work, I just decided I was going to let it blow around. It didn’t bother me nearly as much as I thought it would; it was actually kind of nice.

One evening when the boys were driving me absolutely insane, I used an almost-overdue book as an excuse to escape the house. I wandered around the library shelves for a good half hour, just picking out random books. This is the reason I currently have 30 books on loan from the library, but that silent, peaceful half hour was totally worth the pressure I now feel to read all of them before they’re due.







We did some really fun little things as a family this summer, too, which I was going to share in this post, but there are so many pictures that it would just be way, way too long. So maybe I’ll write about those tomorrow.

Wow, three posts on three consecutive days! It’s good to have goals.

pinspired

Well, I finally caved. I joined Pinterest. And while I am absolutely loving it, I sort of wish I hadn’t signed up, because it is such a ginormous time suck that I’m actually considering giving myself a time limit for how much time I can spend pinning things a day. If I don’t, it’s entirely possible that I could end up spending entire days falling down the Pinterest wormhole without ever reaching the bottom.

That said, though. I am so inspired by all the things I’m finding, and I feel like I’ve barely even skimmed the surface. I hope there’s no limit to how many things I can pin, because I have been a pinning fool -- and I don’t see that changing anytime soon.

food fight

I’ve been meaning to write about this particular topic for a while now, and something that happened last night in our house has given me the perfect opportunity. The topic is this: Toddlers and Their Picky, Maddening, Frustrating, and So Many Other Adjectives Eating Habits.

A long time ago, shortly after Andrew first started showing signs of real pickiness, Joe and I decided that fighting with him over food just wasn’t worth it. Not only did fighting with him almost always fail to get the results we wanted (for him to eat), it completely ruined our family dinner time. We ended up frustrated and angry (me and Joe), throwing a fit (Andrew), or looking on in confusion (Will). At that point, we established a set of rules regarding dinner time. They’re flexible, but here’s the gist of what they are:

1. The TV goes off.

2. Dinner is eaten together at the table (except on special occasions, like movie night, when we eat in the living room).

3. Everyone is served the same thing. (The exception is on nights we have Mexican food. They’ve tried it and I know they don’t like it, but I’m not going to stop making it because Joe and I love it, so on those nights they have some sort of toddler-friendly food instead.)

4. Andrew and Will are required to take at least one bite of each food they’re served.

5. If, after they’ve taken their one bite and decide they don’t like a certain food, they can ask for something else to eat. This happens exactly NEVER with Will, as he will eat anything. It does happen sometimes with Andrew, but if we can just get him to try something, he usually likes it.

6. If they’ve taken their one bite and say they’re just not hungry, they’re allowed to stop eating. We don’t force them to eat if they’re just not hungry. But they have to sit with us at the dinner table until everyone is finished eating. And they’re not allowed to have any snacks later; dinner is their last opportunity to eat for the evening.

Generally, this system works out really well for us. I’ve never been of the “sit there all night or until you eat all your dinner, whichever comes first” mentality (although my mom was; I have a very clear memory of my brother sitting at the kitchen table for hours after dinner, crying over cold peas), but Andrew knows he has to take one bite of everything in order to a.) get another food, or b.) get up from the dinner table.

And then there are nights like last night, which are still infinitely frustrating. I made this pasta, which is a family favorite. Joe loves it, I love it, Will loves it, Andrew loves it. In fact, Andrew loves it so much that he always asks to take the leftovers for lunch at daycare the next day. As I was cooking dinner last night, he kept coming into the kitchen and saying, “Is dinner ready yet? I’m hungry, Mom!” But when dinner was finally in front of him, he started playing the procrastination game. “I need to fix my Lightning [McQueen],” he said, then, “I need to drink my juice first.” Etc., etc. He wouldn’t take a single bite of the pasta. The more we urged him to do so, the more he resisted. “I AM eating it!” he said, although he clearly wasn’t.

I asked him if he was hungry. He said yes. I asked him why he wasn’t eating. He didn’t answer. Breaking my own rule, I even asked him if he wanted something else to eat. He said, “No, I eat this.” But he still didn’t take a single bite.

I decided to try a new tactic. We were planning to take the boys outside to play after dinner, so I told Andrew that he couldn’t go outside until he ate just a little bit of his dinner. Furthermore, he couldn’t watch Toy Story (his current movie obsession) if he stayed indoors. The choice was his. Meanwhile, Will finished all of his pasta and asked for more, and we told him, loudly so that Andrew could hear, “Good job, Will! You’re eating a great dinner! You can go outside to play soon.”

“Andrew wants to go outside and play too!” my older son chirped.

“Well,” we replied, “you have to eat your dinner first.”

Eventually, Joe, Will and I were finished eating, and Andrew still hadn’t touched his food. I was already regretting the ultimatum I’d given him (it was a beautiful night, and I really wanted to go outside myself, and I was going to be the one stuck indoors with him if he called my bluff), but I knew I had to stick to it. Joe took Will outside, and I headed to the kitchen to clean up.

As I suspected he would, Andrew got really upset when Joe took Will outside -- especially when Joe brought out the lawnmower to begin mowing part of the back yard. I kept calmly repeating that he could go outside to play with them after he ate his dinner. I think it took about 15 minutes for that message to sink in, but finally, it clicked. And he sat there and ate his entire bowl of pasta with no more arguments. It was a Dinnertime Battle, and Mommy won. Andrew was gracious in defeat.

Disciplining a toddler -- especially when it comes to food -- is not an easy thing to do. Just as often as not the parent is punished just as much as the child is. But when it works? When you lay out an ultimatum, and you see it through? And it works? It’s so incredibly rewarding to see your child get it.

And so, we got to spend the rest of the evening doing this:

(Why yes, the wagon is hooked up to the Jeep. My husband is nothing if not resourceful.)

rant, mama bear-style

This morning, as I was getting Andrew situated in his daycare classroom, a father walked into the room with his son. His son was clinging to his leg and was obviously unsure of his surroundings. The father smiled and introduced the little boy to the teacher, who welcomed him warmly. So I assume that it was the little boy’s first day, and the reason for his hesitation and shyness seemed obvious to me. New surroundings, new people, new circumstances. I think any kid would be a little hesitant. I know that my own would be.

As I watched, the little boy wrapped himself around his father’s legs and started to cry -- sniffles at first, and then sobs that broke my heart a little bit. The father sighed hugely and said, not in a nice way, “This is ridiculous. Get up and don’t be such a little girl.” The little boy continued to cling to his father and cry, until his father grabbed him by the arm and forcefully yanked him to his feet.

I left without saying anything to him, because I didn’t know what to say, and anyway I knew it was my place to say exactly NOTHING. But as I walked to my car I got more and more upset about it. My first thought was that I wanted to march right back into that room, give that sweet little red-haired boy a hug, and tell him he was going to be okay. And my second (and third, and fourth) thoughts were these:

I could understand the father’s frustration if the child was throwing an unreasonable tantrum about something that actually was ridiculous. Like, for instance, if the child was playing with a dirty tupperware container and the parent took it away from him to wash it, and the child proceeded to throw himself on the floor, kicking and screaming. Not that that’s ever happened to me (last night) (with Will). But in this case, the little guy was upset and scared in a new environment and was clinging to the one source of familiarity in the room: his dad. And his dad’s response was to call him ridiculous, and to accuse him of being a girl.

Which brings me to the second thing: It is not cool, ever, to use the term “little girl” -- or “girl” in general -- as demeaning. It implies that girls are weaker, more emotional, and more fragile than boys, and I do not for an instant believe that is the case. It doesn’t send a good message to the child, either, who is at an impressionable age and should already be being taught to respect girls, not look down on them as something weaker. Being upset or emotional about something should not be equated as “girlish” behavior. I know plenty of women (including myself, if I’m being honest, and all of you reading this) who absolutely kick ass. And take names.

Which brings me to my last issue with the exchange I witnessed: Little boys are allowed to be emotional. I think there’s this emphasis in our society on little boys (and boys and men in general) being tough, and while I personally get a kick out of asking my sons to show me their muscles, Joe and I also believe it’s important to acknowledge their feelings when they’re upset -- and discuss them. Sensitive does not equal weak (and weak, of course, doesn’t equal “girlish”). In this particular case, I think any other viewpoint is just ignorant.

I can’t stand it when men interact with their sons in the way that I witnessed this morning. I just can’t. And I’m so thankful that I married a man who comforts and cuddles his sons when they’re upset.

I hope I see that little boy tomorrow morning at daycare drop-off, because I want to know how his first day went. I really, really hope it went well, in spite of his ignorant father.

2011 books: the best of the second quarter

I just realized I never posted my favorite books of the second quarter of the year. This doesn’t surprise me, since I am behind on pretty much everything currently, but better late than never, right? Slow Friday = the perfect time to catch up!

I typically try to read a wide variety of books, since I enjoy so many different genres. To keep myself from getting bored, I try to read books from various genres each month. But I go in spurts with the types of books I read, and during the second quarter of the year I read a lot of dystopian/post-apocalyptic fiction. So I wish there was a little bit more variety in my choices for the best books of the second quarter, but nope. (And just so you can prepare yourselves for it, the third quarter is looking to be pretty zombie-heavy. Fair warning.)

1. Far North by Marcel Theroux. The premise for this post-apocalyptic novel is that global warming has decimated most of civilization, and the formerly freezing, uninhabitable landscape of Siberia has become the “final frontier” for humanity, so to speak. The narrator, Makepeace, is the sheriff and last occupant of her Siberian settlement. One day a small plane flies over her settlement, and the rest of the novel follows her as she seeks to discover its origins. I loved this book. It was bleak, haunting, and atmospheric. It takes place in such a barren and cruel landscape, but there is somehow so much beauty in this book. And Makepeace is one of the best characters I’ve read in fiction. Ever.

2. Blindness by Jose Saramago. In an unknown city, a man is suddenly struck blind. The blindness spreads rapidly across the city, and all the newly blind people are quarantined in an abandoned mental asylum, where they learn to live in unspeakable conditions. There is one woman there -- “the doctor’s wife” -- who can see; she lied about being blind so she wouldn’t have to leave her husband. The narrative follows her, her husband, and a small band of other unnamed individuals as they deal with the aftermath of the outbreak. When I first started Blindness, the English major in me just about had a seizure. The author doesn’t pay any heed to things like punctuation, tense, grammar, dialogue, etc. It was disorienting at first. But as I continued reading, I realized that stripping away the conventions of language allows readers to empathize more directly with the characters and their own disorientation in the wake of their sudden blindness. It’s nothing short of brilliant, actually, and this is on my list of favorite books of all time. (It’s also on the ever-expanding list of Books I Wish I Would Have Read in College So I Could Analyze Them in Great Detail with Like-Minded Individuals.)

3. Delirium by Lauren Oliver. I’m a sucker for a good YA dystopian adventure. I know lots of people think they’re too trendy now, and too formulaic, and maybe they are...but I still love them. Delirium is one of the best I’ve read. It’s about a future government-controlled society in which love itself is a disease (deliria nervosa). Lena, the main character, has no reason to believe there’s anything wrong with her society and its rules...until she meets Alex. This book is so beautifully written, the concept is original, and some of the sentences literally stopped me in my tracks with their depth and wisdom. I flew through the whole thing, and finished the book literally feeling out of breath and energized. Predictable? Maybe. So very teen-oriented in some ways? Definitely. But I didn’t even care about those things, I loved it so much.

4. The Lightning Thief by Rick Riordan. If I had to describe this book in a nutshell, I’d call it “Harry Potter with Greek gods.” That’s what it reminded me of, and yet, I didn’t think it was too derivative. It’s about a boy who discovers that he’s descended from a Greek god (I won’t give away which one), and follows him on his adventures as he enters a new society and tries to recover Zeus’s lightning rod from the god who stole it. It was a really fun and funny book, and I’m excited to read the rest of the series (although I think I’m going to skip the movie, since I’ve heard from multiple people that it’s not very good).

What good books have you read lately?

reality bites

Monday morning my car broke down. And then the stock market tanked, which affected me both personally and professionally because of the industry in which I work. And then Joe’s leg (which he hurt while playing softball last week) got a raging infection, and he had to get a tetanus shot and two different antibiotics. So between work duties, wifely duties (which include murmuring in a concerned manner when Joe tells me for the millionth time that his leg hurts), and motherly duties (which include clipping my three-year-old’s fingernails while he screams like I’m trying to kill him because it hurts so much, Mommy), I haven’t had time to write about my vacation. I (finally) sat down last night after the boys were asleep to upload pictures and do that very thing...and Blogger was down for updates. Because of course it was. Reality has knocked me down and danced on my prone form more than a few times this week, is what I’m saying.

Hopefully I’ll be able to write about my time off sometime next week. We did some fun things, as well as a lot of nothing, which was pretty perfect. I’ve also mostly been keeping up with my 30 days of fun (although I’ll admit that I’ve missed a day here and there), so I want to write about that too. In the meantime, though, since I haven’t had time to upload and organize photos from my camera, here are two cell phone photos of random silliness:

"I'm going to take my shirt off," he said. "Okay," I said. He left the room, and when he returned, he looked like this.

Will, making one of his patented Will Faces (TM).

seven years

This morning, in true returning-to-work-on-Monday-after-a-week-off fashion, my car died at the boys’ daycare. It wouldn’t start even after two separate fellow daycare parents gave me a jump. I was...distressed, to say the least. So I called Joe, and as soon as I told him what was going on, this is what he said to me: “It’s all right. Don’t worry. I’m going to take care of this.”*

It’s a promise he’s been voicing, and keeping, for eleven years together and, today, seven whole years of marriage. Seven years ago, we promised for better or worse, for richer or for poorer. And although lately our life has been more on the “worse” and “poorer” end of the spectrum, here is what I want him to know: He’s the only thing I need to make me feel like the richest girl in the world. And I love him, and I’m so blessed to have him by my side -- for the past seven years, and for the next seventy-seven. And forever.

Happy anniversary, babe.

*He did. It was the damn battery.

how it went

So first, check out these gorgeous guys I get to share my life with:

I particularly love that last picture. The expression on Will's face is absolutely priceless. Note the rose petals in the bottom right corner of the photo, which he was systematically pulling off of his boutineer between shots.

And as for how they did walking down the aisle? Well, it started off all right...

...but then the situation rapidly devolved when Will lost his footing. Andrew tried to help him up, exposing his Lightning McQueen pull-up to the world...

...at which point I had to jump in and save them, and walk them down the aisle myself, exposing my way-too-pale-for-July legs to the world.

But everyone thought they were charming and adorable and hilarious, and Joe's aunt (the mother of the bride) even talked about submitting the video of them walking down the aisle to America's Funniest Home Videos. They were angels during the ceremony itself, and really, that's all I could have asked for from them. They had a big day.

We had a bit of a rough time with Andrew during the pictures following the ceremony, and when I say "a bit of a rough time," what I really mean is, "He had an epic tantrum and screamed and cried and refused to pose for a single picture with the bride and groom, and not even bribing him with candy worked, so I had to carry him out of the sanctuary under my arm while he kicked me and screamed the entire time, which was super awesome and didn't make me at all angry or embarrassed." It was...actually pretty awful. And considering I'd spent the previous three hours chasing the two of them all over the church (or the "palace," as Andrew called it), my nerves were already a bit on edge. It was not one of my finer parenting days, for sure. I could probably write an entire post about just those moments before, during, and after the Great Wedding Photo Meltdown, and how I handled it and how I could have handled it better, but I'd rather just forget about it, honestly.

My step-mom came to our place to watch them while Joe and I went to the reception, and I was so glad for the break. It was so nice to just relax, and to not have to chase them all around the known world for a few hours. My relaxation was greatly helped by the fact that Joe's brother made me a Dreamsicle (orange soda mixed with whipped cream vodka) before we left our house for the reception. 

It was a beautiful wedding, but also an incredibly exhausting day, and I'm so glad it's over. And now, on to the next thing: enjoying the hell out of my vacation.