letter to william, two years old

Sweet William,

As I type this, the night before your second birthday, I just finished putting you to bed. You're wearing your Buzz Lightyear jammies tonight; you'd wear them every night if I let you. Tonight, just like every night before, I held you in my arms in your dark room, swaying back and forth as I recited your prayers. And just like every night before this one, you whispered "Amen" at the end, and played coy when I asked you for a hug. But then, just like every other night, you finally put your arms around my neck and burrowed your head into my shoulder. It may just be my imagination, but it seemed like tonight you hugged me a little tighter than usual and held on a little longer. Or maybe it was me doing the clinging, the squeezing, the holding on. Regardless, I enjoyed those extra few swaying steps with you heavy and soft and warm in my arms -- a few more cuddles with my one-year-old, before you wake up TWO.

The past two years with you in our family feel like they've flown by, while at the same time, I can't recall with perfect clarity what my life was like without you here. It feels like you've been with us always. And to know that you'll be in my life until the day I leave it is a bigger blessing than I ever could have hoped for. You are so cherished, sweet baby.

Here's something you should know: I will always call you "baby," no matter how old you are. I know in three years or five or eight you'll roll your eyes at me when I call you that, but that's just too bad. That's your cross to bear as the younger child -- you get to be my baby. Forever and always.

At two years old, my baby is rapidly turning into a bright, sweet, rascal of a little boy. A snapshot of you, at two years old: Your hair is so blond and your eyes are so big and brown and your dimple is so precious. You talk so much; I never really was keeping track of all the words you can say, but if I had been, I would've lost count long ago. You speak in complete paragraphs now, and repeat everything we say. You say "yeah" like someone from Germany -- "yah." You say "I wanna poop" after you've already done so (I think potty-training is just around the corner). You say, "Give me a rock!" when you want a fist-bump. When we ask you what a monster says, you growl, "I am scary!" You love to read, and have memorized many of our favorites (The Birthday Box; Goodnight, Little Bear; Smile, Baby, Smile; We're Going on a Bear Hunt). You sing the ABCs and Old MacDonald as loudly as you can, and you dance to them too. You are a fantastic dancer, Will. You are a fantastic boy.

You love Lightning McQueen and Buzz Lightyear, and you quote them all the time. "What Lightning say?" you prompt us to ask you, and when we do, you respond with a hearty "Ka-chow!" When we ask you what Buzz says, we get one of the following: "Beeta-on!" (which is your version of "To infinity and beyond"); "Buzz Lightyear space ranger!"; or "Buzz Lightyear got choo-choo train" (from the opening scene of the third movie). Our house is filled with more different incarnations of these two characters than I could possibly count.

You still sleep with your "elly" (elephant) and "atty" (pacifier), but your crib is filled with lots of other beloved items too. Your blanky. Your puppy Pillow Pet and the Mater Pillow Pet you got for Christmas. "Big Toe," the UglyDoll your Uncle Adam got you last year. Your plush Buzz Lightyear who's nearly as big as you are. Two different sizes of Elmo. You like to burrow underneath all of these items until only your feet are visible, and that's how you sleep. You sleep so well, by the way. I never would have thought I'd be saying that, given how much you didn't sleep for the first eight months of your life.

You throw the most spectacular tantrums. They are truly amazing. Like most kids your age, you don't like not getting your way, and you make that very clear to us with lots of stomping, throwing yourself on the floor, burying your head in your hands, pounding on things, crying huge crocodile tears, and wailing, "Why? Whyyyy?" It's so hard for me not to laugh sometimes when you're in the throes of one of these fits.

But when you're not upset about something, Will, you are light personified. You laugh and play and sing and dance. You get so excited about everything -- about life, in general. You have the most amazing laugh; I know I've mentioned it in these letters I write to you before, but I just can't get over how awesome it is. It's both guttural and squeaky, and it sounds like music. I wish I could bottle the sound of it. You are magnetic; people are drawn to you, to your adorable little face and your charming, funny little personality.

Andrew is your best friend. Seeing the two of you play together and have conversations in your own little language makes me feel something that words aren't strong enough to describe. You're learning so much from him -- his words, his mannerisms, his behavior (both good and bad, but mostly good). You fight, often, but only for a few minutes at a time, and then you're back to being buddies again.More and more I find myself just sitting back and watching the two of you interact, rather than joining in your play -- partly because you boys play rough, but mostly so I can just marvel at how awesome my sons are. Having each other is such a blessing, and I hope you always nurture your relationship. I hope you always learn from each other and care for each other the way you do now.

You speak to something soft in me, Will. It's a special place that only you can touch, a place that only responds to you. I cannot even describe how much you mean to me, how honored I feel to have the responsibility of raising you. This past year was such a rough one for our family, but when I look back on it now, all the good parts of it involved you and your brother. You came into our lives just when we needed you the most. On your birthday and every day, sweet boy, I hope you know how very much Daddy and Andrew and I love you...to infinity, and beyond.

Happy second birthday, my little love.

Love, 

Mommy

Make a video - it's fun, easy and free!
www.onetruemedia.com